Ethan is an only child. For all intents and purposes, he will remain so.
There are about fourteen billion reasons for me NOT to have another baby, not the least of which is the fact that pregnancy-related hormones can cause tumor size to increase. But that is not something I am willing to discuss with most people in my life. My best friends, yes. But not the checkout guy at Trader Joe's, the school bus driver, or the old lady on the corner with the bad knees and blue hair.
Yet people I don't know well feel compelled to ask all the time, "When I am going to have another?" Like, if you have one child, obviously the pipes are working and doesn't everyone want to be like that show on TLC where the family has six-hundred and eleventy children all named J-names living in some sort of expansive compound that the children built together in flagrant violation of child labor laws? Isn't that the American Dream?
This line of questioning is analogous to relative strangers asking my formerly pregnant self direct questions about the action South Of The Border ("dilated yet?") or about my boobs ("planning to breastfeed?"). You may have noted I am not a particularly private person, but even I found exchanges about my nipples with people I am not on a first name basis with awkward.
I honestly do not know how to reply when people ask, "Isn't it time for another?" or my personal special favorite warning, "Only children grow up to be spoiled and selfish." I am tempted to reply that if that is the case, my son and I will get along just fine as he grows up since Spoiled And Selfish is my middle name (but when sending correspondence, I shorten it to "S" for the sake of brevity).
Recently, Ethan has himself been championing the baby cause. He informed me the other day that "going to your doctors and nurses can put a baby in your tummy." In which case, remind me to ask for an additional exam bench liner during my next appointment. God knows what is on that seat and one cannot be too careful.
There are about fourteen billion reasons for me NOT to have another baby, not the least of which is the fact that pregnancy-related hormones can cause tumor size to increase. But that is not something I am willing to discuss with most people in my life. My best friends, yes. But not the checkout guy at Trader Joe's, the school bus driver, or the old lady on the corner with the bad knees and blue hair.
Yet people I don't know well feel compelled to ask all the time, "When I am going to have another?" Like, if you have one child, obviously the pipes are working and doesn't everyone want to be like that show on TLC where the family has six-hundred and eleventy children all named J-names living in some sort of expansive compound that the children built together in flagrant violation of child labor laws? Isn't that the American Dream?
This line of questioning is analogous to relative strangers asking my formerly pregnant self direct questions about the action South Of The Border ("dilated yet?") or about my boobs ("planning to breastfeed?"). You may have noted I am not a particularly private person, but even I found exchanges about my nipples with people I am not on a first name basis with awkward.
I honestly do not know how to reply when people ask, "Isn't it time for another?" or my personal special favorite warning, "Only children grow up to be spoiled and selfish." I am tempted to reply that if that is the case, my son and I will get along just fine as he grows up since Spoiled And Selfish is my middle name (but when sending correspondence, I shorten it to "S" for the sake of brevity).
Recently, Ethan has himself been championing the baby cause. He informed me the other day that "going to your doctors and nurses can put a baby in your tummy." In which case, remind me to ask for an additional exam bench liner during my next appointment. God knows what is on that seat and one cannot be too careful.
16 comments:
They don't ask you that really, do they? How rude!
But I was all set to talk about your nipples. Are you SURE you don't want to?
How on earth did they come up with all 82742765987 and eleventy J names?
My son is Jason. He thought it was cool that one of those billions shared his name. And then he realized how thankful he was that he didn't have siblings with names like Jedidah.
Great post! My mom and I just had this conversation the other day as I am an only child (love being "S")! She got asked that question all the time...people would totally judge her for not having more! Seriously? Why is it anyone's business?!
I have 3 kids and people ask me if I'm going to have more! Really? You can't see that I'm missing 1/2 my hair from going crazy???
I had twins and people still ask me if I'm going to have another baby. It seems that since they were born on the same date; it does not count.
My son is the only child of an only child of an only of an only child :O)
Yup...4 generations of only children.
Yes I am selfish. That will make it easy to understand my only child.
I am often told by strangers that it isnt fair to my son to not have another child. I always ask if they want to let me use their uterus to make this happen. They always say no. Hm. ^&%$ Off might be more effective.
It's pretty shocking what people feel they are entitled to ask under the guise of being friendly. Even if it is well-meaning nosiness, it's nosiness nonetheless. I got all over John a few weekends ago as we were at a friend's wedding and were visiting with some other friends (newlywed within the last year) we hadn't seen in a while...John gave the old, "So...when are you two going to have a baby?" and I thought I would literally hit him over the head.
After years and years and YEARS of that question bringing his wife to tears on a regular basis, he had the nerve to ask someone ELSE????
Seriously?
Some days, I just wish I had a shirt that put it all out there so people would just back off. At the very least, it would be entertaining for me!
xoxoxo
Laughing my ass off! Just the other day, a couple of WORKERS at the grocery store were talking about saggy boobs, delivery, and their bodies going to hell - in the dairy section, mind you. The saw me pushing my cart with my carseat perched on top and thought it necessary to include me in their, what should've been private, conversation. I simply said with a smile "I don't recall experiencing any of those things." They both chimed in with "you are sooo lucky - how did you get through pregnancy and delivery?" I turned my cart around to grab my yogurt, they both looked down at my very dark-skinned daughter, back at me in all my pastiness and with a fleeting, knowing glance said "ooohhhh....."
People can be both rude, insensitive and just plain "I don't know".
For hubby and me we get the "when are you goingto start a family - don't you want a baby?" We politely say "when we are blessed with one" sometimes people get it and other times they keep pushing it "you know doggies aren't the same as children.. you really need to have a baby"...
Usually Hubby tries to end the conversation - as he knows whats about to come soon from my mouth... my final response is usually "well if you feel so strongly/passionate that we should have a child - we have 5 embryos looking for a home to grow in - care to volunteer your uterus?"
As for the only child:
I can tell you I was an only child, when I was growing up in Europe with grandparents, and I recall those days with the fondest memories. The move to Canada to be with my parents came with 2 siblings - and as much as I love and adore them both, I would have been just fine actually quite great with being an only child. HHL
Please tell anyone who asks that you try 3-4 times a week, twice that on vacation, and so far it's not working.
I think we started getting asked that when the dude was still an infant. HA!
HA! I liked it when I was pregnant with my third and people wanted to know if I got that way because we were "trying". We were in fact trying, but didn't tell because we didn't want the "why on earth?" or "aren't you overextended enough?". My sis in law had twins and the FIRST question everyone asks is, "Did you conceive naturally?" They did, but why the hell is that people's business. We all know how we get pregnant, and it isn't up for ice-breaker discussion starters.
Is it? I mean I know we live in a more sexual society, but...?
I happen to think that the love and attention a child gets from his parents, along with teaching of boundaries and respect, is what turns these little human beings into good big human beings. Nothing to do with how many siblings they do or don't have.
Keep it up, you are a frank, honest, beautiful, and funny mama, and how blessed you are to have your son who will undoubtedly always look up to you and whose future relationships will be better because he was raised by you.
Love you high-larious blog. Just discovered! I find my self in a similar position about a possible impending engagement. Doesn't every flipping person just assume that if I had diamond-ring related details I'd be shouting them from the rooftops?!?! Oh and, the Duggars are creepy. Totally creepy. Great blog!
wwww.poodleism.com
Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one.
People are ridiculous, aren't they?
You are, as always, so refreshingly funny.
Those Duggar people freak me out. To the core. I just don't get it. I want to know how many of them end up with emotional problems later in life.
Raising my glass to you my selfish and spoiled sister!
My son wen thru the wanting a sibling phase to the extent that he decided that we should adopt a child from Russia because "it would be a nice thing to do" and that we would name it "Aaron, but you can pick out the middle name, Mom." Nowadays, he thanks me on a regular basis for being an only child!
"I am tempted to reply that if that is the case, my son and I will get along just fine as he grows up since Spoiled And Selfish is my middle name"
I'm totally stealing this line.
My daughter is 3 and will likely be our only - by choice. Try explaining that to Mormon in-laws!
I think sometimes people just think everyone is going to have more than one. It is annoying though. I personally don't want any children and am getting married in February. I'm sure I'm going to get real annoyed REAL quick with people asking us about babies!
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