Disclaimer: This picture above has nothing to do with either a trip to Florida or anything I am about to write and will offend 99% of my family. Look away, family, look away. I must say I know neither the Lisa, nor the Dick, in question; I know a Lisa and several Dicks, but not the ones congratulated above on their enduring union.
The source of this fine piece of photography is an email forwarded from a friend. I opened this from my phone after hours upon fruitless hours at the MVA (I will spare you those details) and COULD.NOT.STOP.LAUGHING. Because I have the sense of humor of an 11-year-old-boy. I am talking shaking, silent, lunatic laughter. To myself. For minutes. Obviously, I was primed for some humor. The woman next to me actually stood up and switched seats after witnessing my hysterics, and quickly decided to relocate to a safer place across the way, to the only other open seat, next to the guy who smelled vaguely of urine that was muttering to himself about the state licensing conspiracy and how Kennedy was set up ... so, on to Florida ...
I asked for advice and I got it! You are a responsive people and I like that about you. For those who are soon heading to Disney, I wanted to share my compilation of tips from friends to make your planning easier.
1) Epcot is amazing! Do that first, you will love it!
2) Epcot is boring and a waste of time. Avoid at all costs, unless you are a boring person, which I know you are not.
3) The water parks are amazing! Do those first, you will love them!
4) The water parks are boring and a waste of time. Avoid at all costs!
5) Magic Kingdom is INCREDIBLE! Make sure you spend three days there to see it all!
6) Magic Kingdom is small, crowded and silly. Make sure you do not waste your money there!
7) Animal Kingdom is INCREDIBLE! Make sure you spend three days there to see it all!
8) Sea World is the best thing I've ever seen! You will be awed!
9) Sea World is the worst thing I've even seen! You will yawn!
10) Relax, chill out, and have fun.
Yes -- #10 -- agreed. I can do that. And, whatever we end up doing, I know we will have an incredible time and a much needed change of scenery. Thank you, seriously, for all the tips and advice. Thanks to all of you, I have some little-known suggestions for must-visit places . Gatorland anyone? Did you know gators taste like chicken and enjoy snacks of turkey hotdogs? Well now you do.
I must sign off to pack. Currently, the only items residing in my suitcase are my XXXL "Lawyers Have Feelings, Too. Allegedly." t-shirt (Thanks, Uncle Pat!) and some pink knock-off Crocs. All I need now are some opaque black knee socks and I should fit right in with the Florida crowd.
The source of this fine piece of photography is an email forwarded from a friend. I opened this from my phone after hours upon fruitless hours at the MVA (I will spare you those details) and COULD.NOT.STOP.LAUGHING. Because I have the sense of humor of an 11-year-old-boy. I am talking shaking, silent, lunatic laughter. To myself. For minutes. Obviously, I was primed for some humor. The woman next to me actually stood up and switched seats after witnessing my hysterics, and quickly decided to relocate to a safer place across the way, to the only other open seat, next to the guy who smelled vaguely of urine that was muttering to himself about the state licensing conspiracy and how Kennedy was set up ... so, on to Florida ...
I asked for advice and I got it! You are a responsive people and I like that about you. For those who are soon heading to Disney, I wanted to share my compilation of tips from friends to make your planning easier.
1) Epcot is amazing! Do that first, you will love it!
2) Epcot is boring and a waste of time. Avoid at all costs, unless you are a boring person, which I know you are not.
3) The water parks are amazing! Do those first, you will love them!
4) The water parks are boring and a waste of time. Avoid at all costs!
5) Magic Kingdom is INCREDIBLE! Make sure you spend three days there to see it all!
6) Magic Kingdom is small, crowded and silly. Make sure you do not waste your money there!
7) Animal Kingdom is INCREDIBLE! Make sure you spend three days there to see it all!
8) Sea World is the best thing I've ever seen! You will be awed!
9) Sea World is the worst thing I've even seen! You will yawn!
10) Relax, chill out, and have fun.
Yes -- #10 -- agreed. I can do that. And, whatever we end up doing, I know we will have an incredible time and a much needed change of scenery. Thank you, seriously, for all the tips and advice. Thanks to all of you, I have some little-known suggestions for must-visit places . Gatorland anyone? Did you know gators taste like chicken and enjoy snacks of turkey hotdogs? Well now you do.
I must sign off to pack. Currently, the only items residing in my suitcase are my XXXL "Lawyers Have Feelings, Too. Allegedly." t-shirt (Thanks, Uncle Pat!) and some pink knock-off Crocs. All I need now are some opaque black knee socks and I should fit right in with the Florida crowd.
Sunscreen & Coconut Oil & Flip-Flop Hugs, J
8 comments:
Dont forget your gaudy oversized sunglasses with pink rinestones. Those are a Florida MUST!! Have an awesome time!
I *don't* have the sense of humor of an 11-year-old boy. Usually. I just about fell off the chair laughing at that picture.
Thanks for the travel tips; I'll be sure to do them ALL when next I go to Florida!
When I saw the pic, I was wondering, why were you on Belair Rd & I was pondering ending our friendship. Thanks for explaining. We're still good.
I don't know how you managed to get all of the dirt on Orlando vacations!
I wish I had a friend named Lisa to email that picture to...darn.
I hope you have a super wonderful trip.
Great billboard fail!
Don't know why, just felt the need to tell you I'm thinking about you. :-)
Best vacation to-do list EVER!
OMG..that is freaking hilarious!!!
I have never been to Disney and I'm not sure if I even want to go...maybe that will change if I have children one day.
And I looked at your other entries...
1.)your son is presh
2.) and LOVE LOVE LOVE your gigantic shades. So glamorous missy!
xo
Blair
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