Most families now have enough left-over Halloween candy to last through the first spring thaw.
Not us. We have always given away the trick-or-treat candy as soon as Ethan returns home. Let me explain: I am not one of those no-sugar moms. My dad, the dentist, tried to prevent me from having sugar when I was a young child. NO sugar at all. I think he realized this was a bit strict when I was so curious about that which was forbidden, that at the age of three, I began scraping used gum off the sidewalk to chew. So that backfired.
Ethan cannot eat 99% of the Halloween loot he brings home since most of it has some type of peanut or treenut (all the good stuff, anyway ... Dear God, what I would not do for an Almond Joy) and he is allergic. When he was a toddler, we questioned whether or not we should even take him trick-or-treating. He'll get all this stuff and then bring it home and won't be able to eat any of it? That seems like a let down for a kid.
So a new tradition was born. Ethan tromps around the neighborhood and collects whatever is being distributed (even all the Reese's, Snickers ... again, all the good stuff ... can you tell I like nuts?). Then when he arrives home, he just leaves the full basket on the doorstep. While he is out, The Great Pumpkin visits and leaves a basket of safe-to-eat treats and miniature toys on the kitchen table. A good trade!
The off-limits basket is then taken home by Grandpa to rifle through and do what he wishes with. I have not heard from Grandpa since Saturday night. He may or may not be in a diabetic coma at the moment.
Ethan has always been excited to see The Great Pumpkin haul, therefore he has never before cared about the missing basket of off-limits candy. Out of sight, out of mind. Except for this year. It took him three days to notice its absence, but once he did, his objection was swift and fierce.
WHERE DID ALL MY CANDY GO!
The Great Pumpkin left you safe candy with no nuts, remember?
WHERE DID THE OTHER CANDY GO?
We sent it home with Grandpa.
Not us. We have always given away the trick-or-treat candy as soon as Ethan returns home. Let me explain: I am not one of those no-sugar moms. My dad, the dentist, tried to prevent me from having sugar when I was a young child. NO sugar at all. I think he realized this was a bit strict when I was so curious about that which was forbidden, that at the age of three, I began scraping used gum off the sidewalk to chew. So that backfired.
Ethan cannot eat 99% of the Halloween loot he brings home since most of it has some type of peanut or treenut (all the good stuff, anyway ... Dear God, what I would not do for an Almond Joy) and he is allergic. When he was a toddler, we questioned whether or not we should even take him trick-or-treating. He'll get all this stuff and then bring it home and won't be able to eat any of it? That seems like a let down for a kid.
So a new tradition was born. Ethan tromps around the neighborhood and collects whatever is being distributed (even all the Reese's, Snickers ... again, all the good stuff ... can you tell I like nuts?). Then when he arrives home, he just leaves the full basket on the doorstep. While he is out, The Great Pumpkin visits and leaves a basket of safe-to-eat treats and miniature toys on the kitchen table. A good trade!
The off-limits basket is then taken home by Grandpa to rifle through and do what he wishes with. I have not heard from Grandpa since Saturday night. He may or may not be in a diabetic coma at the moment.
Ethan has always been excited to see The Great Pumpkin haul, therefore he has never before cared about the missing basket of off-limits candy. Out of sight, out of mind. Except for this year. It took him three days to notice its absence, but once he did, his objection was swift and fierce.
WHERE DID ALL MY CANDY GO!
The Great Pumpkin left you safe candy with no nuts, remember?
WHERE DID THE OTHER CANDY GO?
We sent it home with Grandpa.
(It took him a full minute to process this violation and come up with an appropriately indignant response.)
Let's see? Right to freedom of speech, right to equal protection under the law, right to freedom of thought, right to vote in general election ....
Nope. I must have skipped that law school lecture about the right to miniature Milky Ways.
5 comments:
Delightful, Jenny!
From the mouths of babes... Of course Ethan has the fundamental right to his candy! Every kid knows it. It's written black on white in the Children's Bill of Rights, which, unfortunately, too many people forget about when they become adults. A shame, that.
BTW, this reminds me of a particularly poignant line uttered by Eric Cartman from South Park:
I have never heard the words "only" and "candy" used in the same sentence...
He said it with an expression of utmost woundedness and horror. Totally believable.
BTW, speaking of mouths of babes, my younger kid, back in 2rd grade, got a warning or some other form of scolding from his teacher, and when explaining it to me at home, firmly and seriously stated:
I was framed.
There. "That's my kid!" I thought. And then, right away, "Where did I go wrong?"
Kids.
First, that tale of your dentist Dad immediately had me playing mental images of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory... hehe
You're a genius with the whole good candy/bad candy switcharoo!
And do you have your son enrolled in law school yet?
I LOVE the idea of the swap..but not nearly as much as I love your CHILD saying "fundamental right". LOL!!!
Your son cracks me up!
Oh good grief...John and I laughed and laughed at this. I hope, hope, hope Matthew has the vocabulary Ethan does and knows how to use it as appropriately.
PS....hope Grandpa's possible coma situation is ok~~
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