Hollywood

I have fourteen million things to do today. So, naturally, I spent my morning on this website www.taaz.com, trying on virtual hair and make-up. Priorities, people.

This one was my favorite: Charlize Theron's hair and make-up from the Oscars. Really, I think we could be twins?

My agent will be taking calls for my next part. To be clear, my rider states that I will need the following in my trailer:

1) One new toilet seat and gold faucets. 24-karat ONLY!
2) 1,000 gallons of filtered Evian water, heated to 98.7 degrees, for bathing.
3) One attendant to take my used chewing gum and another to go around every two hours to disinfect doorknobs.
4) A life-sized cutout of myself in the bedroom suite.
5) Fourteen bouquets of sunset orange, partially-bloomed, long-stemmed roses, all thorns removed. NO BABY'S BREATH!
6) Peach-colored toilet tissue, to match my complexion.

NO EXCEPTIONS!!!!