Furry Beasts

This is me. In my mind.

I may be in need of a shopping intervention. The fur vest (faux, naturally, no PETA calls for me) that the size-double-zero, pink-striped hair, seventeen-year-old working at Ann Taylor talked me into ("It is SO perfect on you! It's sick!") seemed like a good idea. But when I put it on at home, the only one who did not laugh was the cat. And I could tell by the look in his eyes that he only wanted to get my vest alone so he could light a few candles, cue up some Marvin Gaye on the iPod, and do PG-13 type things to it, so I am not sure he has my best intentions at heart.

As for pervert animals, I am still recovering from a nature walk we took this week. I will leave you with this visual: I was ready to walk through colorful leaves to observe the placid forest creatures, like soft little bunnies with plush fall coats and long eyelashes. Instead, we ended up watching Bambi's mom get violated and then had to sprint back to the car to avoid getting high-fived by the alpha male's horny deer antlers. I still feel dirty. Stay tuned for a recap of the deer peep show ... with pictures. I know you can't wait!