10) Mommy does have prickly legs ... Mmm - hmm, just like a porcupine.
9) Wow! A bag of snakes!
8) One more day until Halloween. Yep - that Great Pumpkin is keeping a close eye to see if you are being naughty or nice.
7) We do not lick our friends.
6) Why am I allowed to eat more Starburst than you are? Well, it is because mommies are taller than their kids and need the extra energy.
5) No ... Starburst are not a fruit.
4) I take it all back. You are not the worst secretary on the planet and you are not fired (to my husband, not to my actual assistant. I would never ever dare call her a "secretary." She owns me and she knows it.)
3) Of course I can tell the difference between a Spinosaurus and an Allosaurus.
2) I am done talking about penises. (This said with my best poker face.)
And ... my personal highlight:
1) Young man, I suggest you think twice before you TEST me! (Followed by subsequent phone call to my therapist when I realized that I have, in fact, become my mother.)
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