I have a cold. The kind where your head plumps up and everything just drips from all orifices, like some sort of medieval Chinese water torture. In a karmic sense, should I not be exempt from colds - just for this week, at least? I had a big list of (fun) things to do today and now I am just lumping around the house blowing my nose until my appointment.
I have to go to UMD hospital this evening for my extra special high tech MRI to get "thin slice images of my neoplasm" (per my neurologist). There will be an IV - which I hate. IVs totally freak me out.
I have to go to UMD hospital this evening for my extra special high tech MRI to get "thin slice images of my neoplasm" (per my neurologist). There will be an IV - which I hate. IVs totally freak me out.
I am a terrible patient; I hate the needles, the blood, the hospital smell, the needles, the food, and the needles. There is a type of "awake craniotomy" that I just read about, where one is , in fact, awake (hence the name) while they drill into your brain. And I thought going to the dentist was bad!? If I need that, I will throw myself in front of a bus. It takes a sedative for me to schedule a tooth cleaning.
My neurosurgeon appointment at Hopkins is on Tuesday, which will be the moment of truth. Or terror. The tumor/blob is smack in the middle of my brain, which poses problems for obvious logistic reasons. It is hard to get to the middle of the brain without screwing up a lot in between. I was reading the medical journal articles last night about the surgery for the type of tumor they THINK I have and one of the studies from a few years back had a mortality (read: death) rate of 75%. The vast majority of the people that did not kick it had to endure slight "complications" ---- like blindness, paralysis and inability to speak.
My neurosurgeon appointment at Hopkins is on Tuesday, which will be the moment of truth. Or terror. The tumor/blob is smack in the middle of my brain, which poses problems for obvious logistic reasons. It is hard to get to the middle of the brain without screwing up a lot in between. I was reading the medical journal articles last night about the surgery for the type of tumor they THINK I have and one of the studies from a few years back had a mortality (read: death) rate of 75%. The vast majority of the people that did not kick it had to endure slight "complications" ---- like blindness, paralysis and inability to speak.
Perfect.
A more recent med article listed the surgical "success" rate at around 69% - which the author concluded was an "acceptable outcome for neurological surgery." Acceptable for whom!? I can assure you that the other 31 (dead) percent were not happy about it.
So - I am trying to hold it together and occupy my mind until Tuesday. I should be out, like, planning a trip to Tuscany or swimming with dolphins (Holla! Deltas!) or starting a foundation or at least, shopping for super expensive shoes that hurt my feet. Instead I am home, blowing my nose and eating cold pizza while I type and listen to Christmas music.
A more recent med article listed the surgical "success" rate at around 69% - which the author concluded was an "acceptable outcome for neurological surgery." Acceptable for whom!? I can assure you that the other 31 (dead) percent were not happy about it.
So - I am trying to hold it together and occupy my mind until Tuesday. I should be out, like, planning a trip to Tuscany or swimming with dolphins (Holla! Deltas!) or starting a foundation or at least, shopping for super expensive shoes that hurt my feet. Instead I am home, blowing my nose and eating cold pizza while I type and listen to Christmas music.
Blah - I may go take some NyQuil and try to nap until MRI/IV torture time.
1 comment:
Hang in there, Jen! Do you have to do a lot of prep today for tomorrow? Sounds like you are with the best docotors around. What time do you go in? Let me know what I can do. I am sure nothing at this time will be of any comfort but, know that I'm keeping you in my prayers and thoughts.
Love,
Rach
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