Domestic Goddess

How to Spring Clean: 

1) Throw in load of laundry. Ponder how one small child can get everything so dirty. Is there a pair of school pants without mud stains? 

2) Start dishes. Cat breaks three mugs by pushing them off counter. And a vase. Get dustpan/broom. Put down to Google SPCA pick-up. 

3) Dog eating broom. Google extra fee for two pet pick-up? 

4) Cut finger on vase glass. Look for band-aid. Have surgical tape, eye patch, cool burn ointment, Epi-pens -- out of band-aids. Add to shopping list. Wrap finger with clear tape. 

5) Cat in clean laundry basket. Dog pulling dirty laundry out of hamper, eating E's baseball pants. 

6) Open window. Sneeze. Close window. Take Claritin. 

7) Claritin makes me sleepy. Try to make coffee. Favorite mugs broken. Go out for coffee. 

8) While out dog throws up parts of broom and something .... else? Further investigation determines is E's baseball "cup" from sports bag. Not the drinking kind. 

9) Google "cruises to Bermuda no pets leave March." 

10) Call cleaning service. Ask if they can come yesterday. Offer $20 extra plus bonus pet of their choice for kids' Easter basket. 

 11) "MOM! I accidentally flushed a golf ball down the toilet!" 

12) Start packing for cruise. Tell no one.