Tuesday, July 17, 2012

We Laughed, We Cried, It Was Better Than Cats


Dearest Avis,

Today you turn forty!  Which means, I am … scratch my head … blah blah, blah, math … carry the one … and um, WHOA, that cannot be right?!  Wasn’t it 1997, like three seconds ago?  Yes, it was.  I think we have already established that we were an unlikely duo when we first shared an office at Big DC Law Firm in 1997.  Because you were a smart brunette lawyer and I was a dumb blonde ex-sorority girl who stole your Post-Its. 

Alright, so I was not, actually, dumb, but I LOOKED dumb (Shh! Boys don’t like girls who can read!), with my long blonde hair, French-manicured acrylic nails and permatan.  Pre-child, I was also much, much, much skinnier (See, Exhibit A, Eating all the things. Et al.) yet, oddly, had bigger boobs back then.  Or maybe they were just … higher?  I don’t know.  I didn’t really pay much attention to high school physics.  Ok, now back to you … in any event, our first few months as suitemates did not foretell fifteen years of enduring friendship.  I know, now, that you’d give me a kidney if I needed one and then ship boxes of all the top-of-the-line dialysis equipment that Neiman Marcus had to offer. 

You knew me when I was 22 and first met my (now ex) husband at the disco bar next our office (“Really, you met on the 80s floor?”).  You red-lined my law school application essays when I was 23 (“I’d rethink thrice”) and when I was out of time, money, and energy after applying to fourteen schools (indecisive much?), you offered to pay my application fee to your alma mater so that I could go to the best possible school (and stay in DC!  With you!).  You offered me support when I first met my son at the age of 27, and had no idea how unbelievably hard it would be to stay up all night/(s) with a crying baby, for the next 150 years.  And of course, my brain tumor at age 32, which sadly, you knew all about from losing your dad to the same illness.

At those times when there is absolutely nothing correct to say, you somehow manage to find just the right thing.  You were the person I called when I found out I was probably dying, the first time.  And then the second.  And the third. I have called you at my more dire points, at every hour, and hung up the phone laughing and feeling less broken, more whole.  You are the person I call to report all of my life events -- the good, the bad, the unthinkable, and the completely f’ing inconsequential.  You are the best person to talk to about … anything.  You understand my phone messages even when I am all ugly crying face.  You understand my messages after I’ve had a glass of wine (**four) and am all, “Heyzxc ame-EEEE … whacha wanna do? I think I could stay with YOUUUUUU!!! … calzz me, K?”  Of course, you later mock me for those wine messages, but that is totally fair. 

You are the lobster lumps to my can of Diet Coke, the Arnold to my Palmer, the caramel to my giant Williams-Sonoma apple, the lemons to my colored-glass vase of dahlias, my cumin to … whatever the hell cumin goes in.  You are the big sister I never had (Marsha!!)/therapist I could never afford/career counselor/dark comedic cohort/BFF. 

While there are legions of people who start law school with this golden hazy concept of “helping people”, you are one of the few who has actually used your incredible mind to bring about changes for what you believe in.  You are exactly the same astounding person that I first met when you were 26.  That is, you are brilliant, kind-hearted, complex, out-of-this world generous and laugh-until-I-cannot breath funny.  But now years later, after some Real Life patina, you are someone even better.  An even better friend, partner, mother, lawyer, person.  You are who I want to be when I grow up.

I can only imagine the person you will become over the next 40 years.  I can hardly wait to meet her.

All my love,
Julia



1 comment:

Sandy said...

May this birthday year bring you some wonderful and enriching and happy surprises - no one deserves them more!