First order of business: Facebook is my new favorite time-waster. A.R. - remember summer associate time at our old firm when the firm would print a bound copy of the incoming summers' profiles, with photos? And how you would annotate the photos and we would pass them back and forth via inter-office mail for hours, laughing and laughing at how witty we were, even though collectively we were billed out at over $500 an hour and should not be wasting even one minute of time in such an egregious and unprofessional manner? It is totally like that, but FUNNER!
Topic Two: My son was leaving preschool yesterday when he got a used condom stuck to his shoe in the parking lot. Don't worry, I boiled the shoes as soon as we got home - but ICK. Who the hell? In a preschool parking lot? Bet it was that little red-head tart from the Twos room, she is always wearing short little skirts and flashing her diaper when she exits her mom's minivan at drop-off.
Topic Three: I cannot get this song out of my head: "In her apple-bottom jeans ... with her Reeboks with the straps ... turned around and gave her big booty a slap ... "
1) Apple bottoms sound delicious, like a dessert I would very much enjoy with some cinnamon ice cream.
2) Reeboks have straps now? Really? I need some strap-on shoes. I have been known to trip and actually walk out of my shoes, as I trip. Straps would very much help my cause.
3) I, as possessor of a big booty, do not routinely slap it. Perhaps I should start. The next time I am in court arguing a point instead of raising my voice and gesturing, I will simply turn around and give the big booty a slap for emphasis. Booyah - opposing counsel! How you like THEM apples?!
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