Snow "Pees"

See note.

Because those fat "riendeer" can't fly as well as the skinny ones.

Last Minute

Just in case you are still shopping for that person who has everything, may I suggest a gift idea?

They also come in red.

You are welcome.

Palinesque In My Articulance (Shh, That's A Word!)

Behold my new toy. I have been taping everything. Which is interesting to replay, because isn't it true that you think you sound different in real life? Then you see the video? Hm. I now know how Sarah felt. The only thing I left out of this atttached masterpiece of eloquence was, "YOU CAN SEE RUSSIA FROM MY HOUSE!"

Eleventy hundred feet of snow (or two, same difference) in Maryland + three (big) glasses of wine at neighbor dinner + my new early Santa gift + crazy Blair Witch angles = Spike Jonze should be calling any minute.

Please note the consistent parenting on display:

J: "Don't let him play in the snow!" [Volume setting: Normal person.]

Me: "Whatever!' [Volume: thunderous earthshaking heavy breathing.]

J: "He'll get cold!" [Volume: Regular.]

Me: "Whatever!" [Volume: Waking the dead.]

J: "I am going to be useful and shovel the walk." [Volume: My wife is crazy.]

Me: "OH MY GOD, YOU ARE GETTING SNOW ON ME AND I AM MELTING." [Volume setting: Serious drama queen.]

J: "I am about ready to dump snow on your head." [Volume setting: Unspoken.]

PS We did not ALL get into the bathtub once inside, that would be weird.

PPS Ethan really does think he is King Of The World, Ya People. It is an only child thing.