Packing the brain away for a few more months. I have told it to stay in its room and play nicely with the other organs. I do not want to hear a peep from upstairs until Fall. Got that? I have not updated recent brain developments, need to get on that! Am now moving down the torso to other body parts currently in need of a good spanking and a time-out.
To recap: At the end of November, I saw a breast surgeon for evaluation of a lump and chronic breast pain. Surgery - specifically, a ductal excision - was recommended at that time. All appropriate tests had been run and it could not be determined whether the lump was benign or not without surgery and pathology on the abnormal tissue.
One presurgical consult test conducted was the ductogram - which I cannot talk about, to this day, without feeling slightly dizzy. If you have to have one, it hurts less than labor but more than ... almost anything else. The nurse actually winced slightly as she read me the informed consent about where catheters go and then patted my back afterward and told me, "This is the worst thing we do here!"
A bit of unsolicited personal advice from the trenches: It is not wise to consume cream of crab soup the day of a painful medical procedure. True - cream of crab soup is satisfying and delicious and soothing, especially with cornbread! - but there is an appropriate time and place for such a meal. Because when you throw up on the resident who is holding your hand during said painful medical procedure, she will NOT be pleased that you opted for this particular Maryland delicacy.
The surgeon's estimation about odds of breast cancer, based on this lump, symptoms, and family history were "low" - about 15 - 20% - but "of concern." The surgery recommended is not a small procedure, more like a mini-mascetomy than a traditional biopsy, in that more tissue would need to be removed because the abnormal tissue is deep within the ducts. Given the invasive nature of the surgery, I asked if I could punt for awhile and explained the brain thing (Her candid take: "Well, good you know that this is not an aggressive brain tumor, because you'd be dead by now!" A comment I found - oddly - refreshing. The last PA I saw cried when I told him, which was not an approach I found helpful).
When asked about surgical alternatives, she said she could also recommend a conservative approach and line me up for another MRI scan in a few months to reevaluate (any of this sound familiar?). Even if it is breast cancer, breast cancer is "slow-growing" and this conservative approach would "not be inappropriate" given the size of the lump.
I told Jeff back in November that I did not want to go through breast surgery if I also needed major brain surgery within a month or two. That would be like a corporation spending time and resources pressing charges against the petty cash guy in accounting who has "borrowed" an extra hundred dollars, while ignoring the fact that the CEO is embezzling millions and forging documents to the SEC.
So I shelved this for a few months and now it is Boob Day, round TWO! No cream of crab soup for me. But maybe, martini/(s) later with a side of buttery nipple/(s) (pun intended).
To recap: At the end of November, I saw a breast surgeon for evaluation of a lump and chronic breast pain. Surgery - specifically, a ductal excision - was recommended at that time. All appropriate tests had been run and it could not be determined whether the lump was benign or not without surgery and pathology on the abnormal tissue.
One presurgical consult test conducted was the ductogram - which I cannot talk about, to this day, without feeling slightly dizzy. If you have to have one, it hurts less than labor but more than ... almost anything else. The nurse actually winced slightly as she read me the informed consent about where catheters go and then patted my back afterward and told me, "This is the worst thing we do here!"
A bit of unsolicited personal advice from the trenches: It is not wise to consume cream of crab soup the day of a painful medical procedure. True - cream of crab soup is satisfying and delicious and soothing, especially with cornbread! - but there is an appropriate time and place for such a meal. Because when you throw up on the resident who is holding your hand during said painful medical procedure, she will NOT be pleased that you opted for this particular Maryland delicacy.
The surgeon's estimation about odds of breast cancer, based on this lump, symptoms, and family history were "low" - about 15 - 20% - but "of concern." The surgery recommended is not a small procedure, more like a mini-mascetomy than a traditional biopsy, in that more tissue would need to be removed because the abnormal tissue is deep within the ducts. Given the invasive nature of the surgery, I asked if I could punt for awhile and explained the brain thing (Her candid take: "Well, good you know that this is not an aggressive brain tumor, because you'd be dead by now!" A comment I found - oddly - refreshing. The last PA I saw cried when I told him, which was not an approach I found helpful).
When asked about surgical alternatives, she said she could also recommend a conservative approach and line me up for another MRI scan in a few months to reevaluate (any of this sound familiar?). Even if it is breast cancer, breast cancer is "slow-growing" and this conservative approach would "not be inappropriate" given the size of the lump.
I told Jeff back in November that I did not want to go through breast surgery if I also needed major brain surgery within a month or two. That would be like a corporation spending time and resources pressing charges against the petty cash guy in accounting who has "borrowed" an extra hundred dollars, while ignoring the fact that the CEO is embezzling millions and forging documents to the SEC.
So I shelved this for a few months and now it is Boob Day, round TWO! No cream of crab soup for me. But maybe, martini/(s) later with a side of buttery nipple/(s) (pun intended).
