Page Turner

It was a lovely day. We played in the snow. Ethan had on appropriate boots. We watched the Disney movie Cars on DVD and ate gummy penguins that gush when you bite them.

Ethan is now in bed and the house is quiet and still.

I just poured a glass of red wine, put on slippers, propped my feet up, and started the process of updated my living will - no feeding tubes! - then I logged into Amazon and ordered these titles, one-click, next-day delivery:

Raising An Emotionally Healthy Child When A Parent is Sick

How To Help Children Though A Parent's Serious Illness

Living Beyond Limits: New Hope and Help for Facing Life-Threatening Illness

Tomorrow, I will take my son sledding on the hill behind our house.

But right now, I am crying.

Again.

Simple

Lately, I have been searching for the meaning of life and trying to find some purpose in it all.

This has involved reading a lot of self-help books about how to simplify. Which has resulted in looking for space in our too-cluttered townhouse for a clear area in which to house the self-help books about how to simplify. Which has resulted in me feeling like our townhouse needs to be cleaned and packed up and dusted and replaced, and that the walls are closing in by the second. Which has resulted in me feeling like if we are going to pack up, declutter, dust, replace, and break out walls, we might as well move. Which has resulted in me looking for a smaller - but newer - place in a better school district and trying to convince Jeff to get on board with it. Which has resulted in me finding this house - six bedrooms, four baths, pool - and whining incessantly that we need to move into it right now, if not sooner.

So, I think I have figured out my purpose in life: It is to buy things.

Along this vein, Internet, I need your support. I think my husband should agree to move here. Because I have a bandage on my nose and have not slept in two years. I have promised to give up TV, lattes, my car, the gym, dry-cleaning, eating until 2014, wrinkle cream, and wearing clothes.

Oh, and self help books. Those too.

Lesson Learned

When using email to make inappropriate amateur porn jokes to other parents at your child's (religious!) school, it is a good idea to make sure your email goes only to your intended recipient.

Do NOT accidentally hit the "Reply To All" button. You will be embarrassed, I promise.

Case study, below ...

TO: ALL SCHOOL ROOM PARENTS
FROM: ROOM PARENT COORDINATOR

Hi everyone, There will be a gathering tomorrow night after the room parent meeting. Please feel free to join us for a drink, soda or food after the room parent meeting tomorrow night. See you all tomorrow at the meeting and hopefully after!

MY REPLY TO ALL (meant for one other room parent who has a wicked sense of humor):

I expect there will be a video "Room Moms Gone Wild"?

If there was any doubt, I just confirmed my status as "that" mom. Someone is getting homeschooled ...